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General Tom-foolery

Murphy's Laws of Cross-Stitching

  1. Come sale time at the needlework shop, they'll be out of DMC 310.
  2. Chocolate is to Aida as metal filings are to magnets.
  3. The thread will fray.
  4. The last lost needle will only be found by a bare foot traveling at a high rate of speed.
  5. When there are four stitches of a color left to do, there will be enough thread left in the needle to sew no more than three.
  6. The needle threader won't.
  7. "Mother's scissors" are the only ones your husband and children will want to use.
  8. Dog/cat hairs will penetrate any and all enclosures used to protect cross stitch projects in progress.
  9. After counting the same line 11 times, but before the first critical stitch is taken, the phone will ring.
  10. You will count wrong.
  11. You will re-count wrong.
  12. After recounting again you will find you were right the first time.
  13. When you finally get the count right you will loose your place.
  14. Regardless of how recently you have fed your household prior to stitching, the minute you pick up your needle... every child will be hungry, every bird will give out a faint ravenous tweet, every dog will go pale, every plant will droop, and the doorbell will ring.

A Cute Poem

I started a cross stitch the other day
I've started at least a hundred and one,
and only a handful of those are done.
My problem is simple
and plain and easy to see;
I'm hooked on cross stitch,
It's not as bad as could be.
I don't drink or gamble,
I just sit and stitch.
This is my weakness,
my passion, my itch.
Each project I buy is exciting and new,
I can't wait to get started,
so that's what I do.
I stitch on the new piece,
forgetting the old.
That makes one more piece
that I'm putting on hold.
If I bought no more projects ever again,
I'd still never finish
if I live to one hundred and ten.
So I'll keep right on buying forever more.
(I'm a preferred customer
at my local stitch store.)
And when my time comes,
in stitchers heaven I'll be.
With enough unfinished projects
to last through eternity.
I'll sit and I'll stitch all the day through.
And I may finish a project,
perhaps even two!

Contents on this page submitted by Aliera